SECRET TWO WORDS YOU NEED TO SUCCEED AT DATING
But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one Matthew 5:35
Yes and no.
Two very simple words that have a huge impact on your dating lives.
Dating doesn’t need to be as confusing as all of us women seem to make on a regular basis.
I know I have been there too…
Trying to figure what the guy means….
But let me tell you men are really simple there is no need to decode what they are saying.
You just chose to ignore the things that you were too afraid of saying yes or no to.
When you meet a guy, you can basically see it right away, who they really are. It really is just a simple matter of yes or no.
A friend of mine is dating a new guy.
She has no kids, he has mega-kids. (like 4, I think)
She’s not happy about him having kids.
I ask her then why in the world are you choosing to be with him in the first place?
It’s really just a matter of a yes or a no.
You see the problem women have about men they don’t practice abundance when it comes down to dating.
Women clinging on to hope.
Women hope for a relationship, but they don’t believe they’re going to have one.
They believe that there is one guy out there for them.
They believe they are running out of time.
Or there won’t be a man for them when they are ready.
So women will take the scraps that are fed to them, literally taking scraps in love.
When I was dating before I met my husband I look at a guy immediately and it’s an instant yes or no.
I look at their life.
Are they saved?
Are they married or “separated”?
Do they have kids?
Did they want kids?
I look at it real simple.
If was going to go past the first date, I need to know the answers to these yes or no questions.
If I was to get involved in a relationship with a guy. Eventually, I am going to marry one of them. Eventually, their children will be part of my life. Eventually, I will be a step-mother and an influence in their life.
Eventually, my boys would have either brothers or sisters that they will be able to hang out with.
I looked at every date that way.
I look at the facts that are presented to me and I make a decision: either yes or no.
The answer is either a very simple yes or no.
What are they like now?
What if the guy has the majority of custody?
I looked at that as well. I think to myself, how much time were we going to have alone? Because really, it’s going to be about having an instant family.
It’s a simple matter of a yes… or a no.
I look at someone’s past, what’s happened to them. Their stories, where they are, what their family is like, what their background is.
What their relationships is like with their mother?
Are they still close to their parents?
Where do they want to live?
I look at everything.
It really is a simple yes or no.
It’s a yes or a no on all levels, from spiritually, to emotionally, to the children they have, to finance, to everything.
It’s either yes or no.
There’s no maybe.
I look at the facts as they’re presented to me.
Do they have a dog? Do they have a cat?
Do they have gerbils?
Do they like to travel?
You see what’s being presented to you.
Men are not illusions, they always show their true self. We as women just have to have the strength and faith to see what they are really telling us.
Not trying to read into their messages.
Men will always let you know where you stand their life or not stand.
Men are who they are.
It really is just a simple yes or no.
Men aren’t going to change.
Their situations aren’t going to change.
Please hear me when I say this.
MEN ARE NEVER GOING TO CHANGE!
Did you get that?
What you see when you are first dating them is what you are going to get.
It is never a good idea to enter into a relationship with the idea that you are going to change them.
The power of the yes or no is that you’re accepting the guy right from the get-go.
When I first met my husband he was in no position to get married and he told me that he didn’t want to get married.
I was totally Ok with that.
He was fun to hang out with. We always had a good time.
But I also dated other guys. I wanted to get married and he didn’t so I knew the only one who could change his heart was God.
I was starting to fall for him and he made me feel safe and I loved that but I didn’t push him.
So for you, look at their situation, and you say to yourself, I met somebody really amazing. This is the baggage they’re bringing into this relationship.
I’m either in or not.
The baggage never goes away.
The crazy ex, the children, all part of it. As we get older, this is what comes into our lives.
The way they eat chips is never going change.
So the good news is you don’t need to struggle or stress about it at all.
You just need to be honest with yourself right from the get-go.
Yes or no.
If it’s a yes, go in with both feet and enjoy the amazing yes that you’ve decided on.
If any no’s come up that you think “oh he will change after…”
Please just say no and move on.
I promise you that there is an abundance of men out there.
Remember You are the Daughter of the Most High God
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