Still Waiting For Prince Charming?
Song of Solomon 3:4 – “I have found the one whom my soul loves.”
Ok, one the one thing that will get me fired up and preaching is the teaching in some Christian circles that God has created one man for you or my favorite you must wait on God to bring you your soulmate.
OK, I mean this with all my love and all I want you to get out this blog post is to truly transform your life…. Ok, please brace yourself ……
Are you ready ….
Are you sitting down?
GOD DIDN’T CREATE ONE MAN FOR YOU!
Whew, now that has been said we can move on.
The good news about this is you haven’t lost out on love. You can still find love and if you are married but you are not happy in your marriage and you are thinking that you are not married to your soul mate … you can still turn things around and have the relationship you want.
So, what does the Bible say about getting married how to have the most amazing marriage.
The Bible does mention soul mates, but it’s not the same idea that the world has created in terms of “finding the one.” Instead of looking for a “sole” mate, look to God’s wisdom to find your King. Rather than looking for Prince Charming, be the perfect Queen. Remembering that true love is sacrificial love, not self-serving. It is patient and kind. It refuses to be envious boastful or proud. It honors others, is not irritable and lets bygones be bygones. It always protects, trusts, hopes for the best and endures through every circumstance. So, don’t get caught up in the hype. Submit your love life to God, find someone who loves The Lord and has these qualities and you will have found your “soul mate.”
This brings me to the so-called “Non-Negotiables” the only Non-Negotiable you should have is does this man love the Lord with all his heart, all his mind, and all his soul. That’s it the rest can be worked out. And if you find that you can’t work those things out and you can just leave because there are plenty of awesome men out there.
When you a deciding on any relationship you first must ask if you truly want it ….
Because just because society tells you that should be married by a certain age or have babies at a certain age doesn’t mean that is what you want to.
When you really sit down with God and start to journal out what you want… you can see what is truly in your heart.
When it comes to marriage.
Do you really want to be married or do you think that you want to marry?
There was a woman I know who was 40 and complaining that she still wasn’t married yet. She felt bad that all her friends were getting married and having babies.
When she was a little girl she would dream of a big beautiful wedding, marrying Prince Charming, (yes, she used the words Prince Charming) having children and living happily ever after…. You know the whole fantasy that society has put into our heads.
The whole fairy tale wedding and ride off into the sunset thing.
I mean come on that only happens in the movies, people.
You first must be happy with yourself … you are the only one who can make you happy.
Jesus is the only one who can make you whole.
I too used to believe the lie that the Devil has intertwined into our Christian Society.
But to be honest that is what is a big fat lie.
After my divorce I was under the impression well my ex-husband wasn’t my soul-mate. So, I waited. I joined a Christian Singles Group and before long I met a man who I thought was the one. I thought that God had brought him into my life and we were going to live happily ever after.
Yeah well, that really didn’t go as planned. I did everything wrong to keep that relationship going. I tried so hard to make it work and make him see that God had brought us together.
Yeah, it didn’t end well, and I ended up with a broken heart.
So, I started doing a little research and found out that “soul-mate” was not in the Bible, it was not even Biblical. The term soul mate comes from the Greek Mythology.
What God does is he opens many doors for you. There are tons of great guys out there. You don’t have to settle because Men are awesome, and they are looking for love too. You must do your part and go out there to find them.
God wants to give you the desires of your heart, but you must know what those desires really are.
Back to the beautiful 40-year-old woman who wants to ride off into the sunset with Prince Charming.
Let’s think about this for a moment. She is 40 and really if she was 30 I would give the same advice, but does she really want to be married or just have the wedding? Is she ready to give up all the freedom that comes with being single?
If you are in this situation, please take some time to spend with God and journal out a few questions about your freedom.
Like really do you want to give up the remote?
Think about it you have complete and total control over the remote?
You can watch what you want when you want.
You can get up when you want.
You can go to be when you want.
You decide how you spend your money.
You decide how much you spend and how much you save.
You can go out with friends.
You can stay in when you want.
You can wear what you want.
Really by the time you are 40 you have a lot of stuff that you do that you don’t have to ask or run by anyone.
Now no matter when you get married it should always be a partnership and you make the decision together but still, you must at the very least you have to tell your husband when you are going to go Starbucks to write. What time you are going and what time you will be back.
When you are single you don’t have to do that.
And really don’t get me started on what you give up on when having kids.
Now being married and having kids is awesome and I wouldn’t want my life any other way.
But you do give some freedoms and you may not be ready for that.
Back to me…
How did I get to be happily married and have 6 awesome and amazing kids?
I let go of expectations.
I let go that there was one man out there for me.
I started dating and dating just for fun.
I had no expectations.
Then I met my husband who unfortunately was coming out of his second divorce. And he was hurting so at first, we just kept it light. We were having fun just dating.
Then, of course, we started to round the 6 months to the 12-month time frame where I was starting have stronger feelings.
However, my now husband told me that he was never going to get married or have any more kids.
So, I knew this. I knew he was hurting and needed time to get over that hurt.
So, I started dating other guys. I wanted to be married and maybe have a little girl. (Boy mom Here)
Now please me out.
This is totally OK to do.
I am NOT telling you to have sex with any of these men, but just go out and have a cup of coffee or even dinner with a couple men while you figure out what type of man you want to marry is totally OK.
So, I went out on dates.
Then because I was still seeing my now husband he got wind that was seeing other men, and he didn’t like it.
Not one bit.
My now husband is married (to me) and we have 6 kids all together.
So, if you want to be married you can be.
It is totally possible when you let go, and yes let God open doors for you. Be open to all the possibilities, not just one.
But you must know what you really want.
And be honest about what you will gain and what you must give up.
Because let me tell the first two years were hard, but we made it through because we choose every day to love each other and love our kids.
This is key because you just don’t ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
You must wake up every day and chose to love the other person and you must know that Love is an action, not a feeling.
And marring Prince Charming is not going to make your life all better.
The only one who will make you happy is you.
And the only one who will fill the gaps you have in your soul is Jesus.
Not your soulmate.
If you would like more guidance on how to find a man to marry for life one that God will bless I am taking on 5 1:1 clients right now to help them navigate their way to Queenhood.
You can send me a message if you are interested.
Remember You are the Daughter of the Most High God!
Your Soul already knows so just stop pretending to someone you don’t want to be. Join me Starting Aug 6th for a full month of 1:1 training, where you will learn the in and out’s of Queenhood and learn how to start living your dream life right now. It is time for you Rise. You will get unlimited messages with me and 4 2-hour long calls.
Message me for more details.
P.S.S Still a boy mom here, had twin boys with my awesome and amazing hubby. 😉
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