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5 Tips For Handling Stress


Stress.  We have all heard about how bad stress is for us. But do you really know how much it affects your life?

Are you at a place where you know what you need to be doing but you are not doing it? Do here all the motivational speeches and read all the Motivation Monday Memes? But you still not doing the things that you need to be doing?


Ok, so I am fully aware in the Bible that they talk about being lazy and how a lazy person doesn’t get rich.  But really I truly believe with all the research I have done that there is no such thing as being lazy.

You’re not lazy.

You’re not procrastinating.

No, you are just trying to find a quick fix to relieve your stress.

You see when you are scrolling through the FB fed instead of getting up to face the day, you are trying to relieve some stress.

You know that your day is going to be stressful so you find something that will give you a boost and a little pick me up.

When you decided to binge watch Sharp Objects first 5 episodes in one sitting instead of working on your book … (not that I did that yesterday at all…) you are looking for a quick fix to relieve stress.

This is because your life is stressful. You have a million things that you need to get done. You have bills that are piling up. You have relationship stress with everyone in your family or whom you are living with because let’s face it the more people you have in your life the more problems you have.

I was a point in my life where I knew what I needed to do. I knew all the things that I needed to do in order to make life move forward. I knew what I needed to do in the morning. I knew what I needed to do in the afternoon and I knew what I needed to do in the evening.  But I still wasn’t doing the things that I needed to do.

I know that there have been numerous studies that go into much more detail but this not a textbook and you don’t want scientific studies, you want real answers to your problems.

The thing about stress is we tend to avoid it. We tend to think of stress as something that we have to live with every day and it will never get any better. We tend to think like a shark, a Queen who is not able to attack her “goal”.

During a research experiment, a marine biologist places a shark in a large holding tank and then as you would guess released a bunch of small baitfish into the tank with the shark.

And of course like every other shark the shark went after the little fish and ate them all up.  There was stress added to the shark’s life.  She was able to go after her goal without anything holding her back.

But then what scientists do is the marine biologist added a fiberglass divider into the tank. SO the shark was on one side and the fish bait was on the side.

When the marine biologist dumped the fish into the tank the shark once again went after her goal.

But instead of getting a quick easy meal she was met with a challenge that caused stress in her life.

The shark kept repeatedly going after the fish but each time got a bump on the head from hitting the fiberglass wall. After doing this for about an hour or more the shark finally gave up.


The experiment was repeated several dozen times over and over the next few weeks.  And each time that shark went after her goal. She kept going after those fish with such determination and goal setting. But each time she was left with defeat and more stress added to her life.


This was done until the shark just gave up altogether, she stopped going after her goal, she stopped going after her dreams.  She stopped attacking her goal.


So at this point, the marine biologist took away the fiberglass divider and the fish and shark were once again swimming together without any dividers.


However, as you would expect the shark didn’t go after the fish. She had allowed the stress of her going after goals with setbacks and failures that she gave up.

She gave up on her life.


She believed that barriers still existed between her and her goals.


Now, what does this have to do with your life?


If you are anything like me, you have experienced setbacks and failures in life. You may have failed a time a or two in your life.  And you took these setbacks and failures and you gave up. You gave up trying.  You have allowed the stress of these failures to tell you because you have been unsuccessful in the past then you will be unsuccessful in the future.


If you have debt, student loan debt, then you will always have debt. If you are overweight then you will always be overweight.  Or if you have had a hard time finding love in your life then you will never find love.


But I am here to tell you that all these are just …




That is true they are lies straight out of Hell.


And today is the day that you are going to stop believing those lies.


You are going to stop believing that you are too unworthy to go after your dreams.


That because you check your email before you get out of your bed to relieve stress.


You can go after your goals.


You just need to break past the stress.


God has the power to remove the fiberglass wall from your life.


You just have to be open to seeing it being removed.


OK, so I totally know that this way easier said than done.

But I am here to tell you real ways to help reduce stress in your life.


Not the whole taking an hour-long bubble bath every day. Because really who has time for that.


But there are a few things that I suggest that you do during the day.


The little things that you can do a little at a time to reduce stress.


The first thing that you need to do is identifying the stressors in your life. Really what is it about the daily life that causes you to stress?

Take about 10 minutes to think about what really stresses you out during the day. What weekly stuff happens that triggers you? Who the people? What activities and things that cause the most stress in your life?

Make a top 10 list of the things that stress you out the most.


Now, are there any that you can weed out?


Like does running late stress you out?  Set your clock to 10 minutes fast and live your life by this time so when you are meeting someone or have to be somewhere you are on time.  This has helped me so much after I had the twins.  Lifesaver!


I know that there will trigger that you can’t weed out of your life (like raising twins) but we will get to that in a little bit. But for think of what you can eliminate from your life.




I do believe this is one of the hardest things for women to do. We over-commit ourselves in order for others to like us.  But let’s start with top commitments that we want in our lives and weed out the ones we really don’t want to do. ( yeah no wants to bake 3 dozen cupcakes the night before a bake sale)

Now our Relationship with God, husbands/partners, kids, our home and our careers are commitments that we want to take care of.  We want to put in the time for that but for commitments at the church or school or work consider the amount of time and stress they provide in your everyday life.  What is the value you get from them? Does that out weight the stress? If not then it is time to get brutal.  Put on your crown and take steps to remove the ones that cause you the most amount of stress.


Ask yourself I am doing this for the joy of the Lord or I am trying to look good and have people like me.




Let it all go!  I really hate to be the one to tell you this but you are not the Queen of the Universe.  I know this was hard for me too. I know sometimes I wish we were.  Sometimes I really think that is would be easier but in reality, it just brings more stress in to your life.  Trying to control everything around us, the people and the situations simply doesn’t work. The best thing you can do is just let it all go and give it to God.  And accept that people in your life will do things differently than you. And God does have a plan to make everything good.

So in order to have less stress in your life remember that the only person you can control is yourself.  Work on that before you try to control everything around you. Learning to let it god is a major step toward your Queenhood.




Ok, I have some bad news. Brace yourself. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MULTITASKING! Once again, there have been so many studies done on the fact that no there is no such thing as multitasking.  It may seem like a good idea and you may think you are doing two things at once. But the reality is you are shifting quickly between the two or more things.  This may seem like a great way to get things done faster but it actuality it slows down your progress. It prevents you from focusing on one task at a time. In turn, makes your work less than desirable.  So start one task.

Finish the task.

Move on to task #2.

Finish task #2.

Repeat until done.




Working out is a great way to improve your stress levels and stay healthy.  This is a very common suggestion for stress relief.  Because really it does work.  Exercising helps relieve the stress buildup, it gives you some quiet time to just be with yourself and God. When you are fitter and more healthy you are better equipped to handle the stress that life brings you.



Take time for yourself.  I know that is so easier said than done. But yes take some time for yourself during the day.  Go for a walk.  Do some stretches. Step away from your phone.

Find some time to just some deep breathing.




This may seem hard to do when you are going through a stressful time in your life but really without sounding like a Meme, there is really something always to be thankful for. When you develop an attitude of gratitude is a great way to keep your mind on things that are lovely, noble, trustworthy, praiseworthy.  When you fix your eyes on things in life that you are thankful for then the negative thinking is harder to get in.  Learn to step into the life of being grateful for what you have, for the people you have in your life, and see everything as a gift. When you have this outlook on life your joy will push out all the stress.




Prayer is one of the best things you can do to reduce stress.  One thing that I had to learn which is not always taught in churches is God is with us when things are going right in our life too.  I something thinks that we are addicted to the struggle.  We sing worship songs about how God see’s through the tough times. How God is with us when we are struggling and under stress. But guess what God is with us all the time. In the bad and also for the good. So pray all the time. When times are tough and when times are.  I have really been making an effort to spend time with God every day. Every day that I am having whether things in my life are going good and when I could use a positive pick me up. Praying without sessing means just that. Pray all the time.


When you take time to do the little things during the day it really does add up to less stress in your life.


The little things turn into big changes.


Remember you are the daughter of the Most High God.




P.S.  Join the Inner Court and discover the secrets to doing the little things that add up to the big stuff you want out of life


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