Time Management for People Who Hate Time Management.
Time Management Like A Queen
I hate word time management!
I don’t know why but really the thought of just actually put stuff down and working for 25 minutes one thing makes my skin crawl…
But here is the thing
I want to have a day that flows,
One that is easy and just flows in a natural stream.
(full discloser: I go on a rant… to get to the time mangement part scrool down)
One that I am not running red lights in order to my kids to their after-school activities.
I dream of having days where I go to bed and feel satisfied that I did everything that I needed to do during the day.
A day where everyone was fed, loved and I got all my stuff done by writing my new book to getting the laundry done.
Oh why can’t I have days like that?
Why do I hate wanting to have days like that?
I knew that I need to change but how when my whole I have just winged it from one moment to the next.
SO how did I break this cycle hating time management (I mean really the word is just so awful) to having days that really ebb and flow?
I was tired of feeling like a bad mommy, a bad wife, and a bad writer.
You see the thing for me is that all little things that distract me, the ones that keep from actually getting everything done as a mom who writes from home with 4 years twins running around all day long.
Every time I would hit the pillow each night I would make a promise to myself, I would set the intention to be better and do better the next day.
But then the next day would come and the little things would keep popping up.
A bottom that needs to be wipe.
A sippy cup needs to be filled with water
A fight needed to be broken up
Husband would call and need me to do something
A nose needed to be wipe
A spill needed to be cleaned up
A drive needed to get a playdate
Homework needed to be done
WHY DO ALL THE LITTLE THINGS KEEP COMING UP AND A HUGE DISTRACTION
So I went to bed each night and set the intention to do better in the morning.
I would think to myself what could I do better in the morning to have a more productive day?
What would make my day flow better?
I would get up early or stay up late just get everything done.
I would buy these cute little day planners, and download all the little printables about how to make my day better?
With time slots for everything that I needed to do
I would ask myself how could I be a better mom, a better wife, and a better writer?
I would breathe in and out and start over
The whole cycle would continue day after day….
But here is the thing …
When I was asking myself this and focusing on the things that were not getting done.
When I focused on all the little things that kept coming up during the day.
I was not standing in a total alignment of who I was…
I was not standing where I thought I should be or where I needed to be in order to have days that ebb and flow.
Instead of focusing on “how could I do better” I needed to focus on ….
How can I choose to love and accept myself FULLY, just right now as I am? Right here in this moment?
It’s not easy to do. When I feel like I need to be running from one distraction to the next. WHne everyone needs my attention but I really need to write or vacuum.
It is totally normal to blame and shame ourselves.
You’re a bad mother
You’re a bad coach
You’re a bad person
You’re bad at managing your day
You’re never finish anything
You’re not Good enough and probably never will be….
These are things that our minds say to us all day long…
And I wonder though why do we even think that this is OK to say to ourselves.
When you think about your beautiful children would you even think for one moment to say any of that to your kids?
Or someone else kid?
We all know that what we say to our kids is so important. That everything we say can impact them for the rest of their lives.
But yet we when we don’t stick to our plan that we have taken the time to write out in our pretty little planner we go the blame and shame
At times it really feels like the right thing to do.
I mean really I am a grown woman with a husband and kids…
I should have my shit together and know how to use a dam day planner
Really here is the thing
THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!
When we start saying and focusing on all the things that are wrong with the day.
Or there should be something that I should be doing…
That I should be doing something that I am not.
Ok so here is the thing …
With the New Year coming up and all the Resolutions that come with it…
If you really want to get handle on how to plan your day and how you want it just flow…
If you want to really change the way things are going
If you want to expand
IF you want to grow
If you want to improve
If you want to do it better
It really comes down to the foundations you set that is full of love and acceptance in the Now.
It comes from know that yes, you are worthy of having an amazing day that goes just you want it to.
It comes from the place that we are enough already, we can already have the day we want. Not a day that someday I will have but a day right now,
You are already enough …
You are complete
You are whole
You are right here at this right time
You are at this moment that God created
You are worthy just the way you are.
But the thing is that seems so hard to do, so hard to believe?
For me, at this moment it seems so difficult to believe that yes this possible. The day and the life that I want is possible and that I can put myself in the alignment of who I am really I am.
When my day is not going my way I stop and ask myself …
Why did I respond this way
What do I actually need?
I am responding to the distractions of my day or I am in a state of always reacting
I know that I need to out of my own way…
I need to allow myself to sit with who I am now…
Even though I desire to make different choices in my daily ritual or find ways to keep on improving it …
I accept myself
I am enough right now at this moment in time
I am doing enough to get my book done and published
I am good enough
I am worthy enough to my shit done.
You see when you start talking to yourself in this way you will notice that the ego-induced emotional drama will be removed
What if you don’t follow through on the thing that you needed to do?
The thing is that there is no done… the learning will never be done. Your learning and your journey will never end.
There will always be the little things that creep in your day
Sometimes your kids will drive you crazy…
Sometimes you let the all the “stupid” stuff come out. We think to yourself we know nothing about anything and that everything you do is the wrong decision
But if I told you that there are no mistakes?
What if I told you always made the right decision?
What if everything was unfolding in just the right way
What if that were all true
What if you could just step into who you are.
YOU ARE ENOUGH, You ARE JUST THE YOU
So now is the time to drop the “not good enough” story
Be grateful for all the opportunity to grow and be strong enough to the work around it
Be in the here now
Look with your soul and look for what he/she wants you to do.
And realize that from that place? You can be whoever you want. You are able to go where you dream of. You get where you dream of and be the Best version of yours. Know that you are worthy of seeing yourself the way God sees you.
You need to look into your soul
Because it will only get better from here on out…
Because as a rebel that I am and the women who I knew was created by God to come a make a difference in this world.
SO really I started this post to help with “time management” but really I am going to be totally honest with you, it doesn’t matter what type of planner you buy or how cute it is, it won’t get the job done if you don’t first believe that you can have anything you want out of this life. And know that you are worthy of having the most amazing job.
If You want to stop here and just go off be the most amazing woman you can. If you would like to have more effective days then please keep reading and promise you will be rewarded with free stuff.
In order to have effective days and days where I felt complete and I felt like I was getting things done was simple.
I have to have more effective days than noneffective days.
I do have to do something each and every day to keep moving forward to my dreams and goals.
I knew that I need to do the work every day
I needed to connect with my kids every day
And I needed to connect with my husband every day
I knew that I need to take action every day
So what did that look like?
Ok, so I may loath time management like the Grinch loves the people of Whoville but just like the Grinch, my heart can change.
In order to get your goals accomplished, you must do the work.
I know even typing that was hard but I have learned is that really I can still do my own thing and follow all those pretty planners.
MORNING OR NIGHT?
This is the most important questions that you can ask yourself.
Are you a morning person?
Are you a night person?
This is important because really I was trying so hard to morning a person, I have had babies and young children in my life for 17 years now. So for years, I thought I had to get up early. You know have time to myself and time to read the Bible. To pray.
But really what would happen was I would read my Bible but really not knowing what I was reading.
It really didn’t work for me because it would take so long to wake up and get stuff done.
So you what I did?
I totally created my own system.
For me staying up until 1 am and getting up 7 or 7:30 am was great for me.
I started getting up when my boys got up.
I would read my Bible and drink my coffee in front of my boys. They saw me and still I read my Bible. I pray over them before they head out the door and before they go to bed.
For me putting my boys down 8 and 9:30 at night and then staying up until midnight was what is best for me. I still get hours to write and plan but I am way more productive at night then getting up 5 am. Which for years I thought was the right thing to do.
So yes when it comes to taking fruitful action in your day you must first decide if you are a morning person or night person.
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO EVERY DAY
There are a ton of planners and to do list that you can use.
This again is totally up to you. Do what feels natural and what feels good.
I use multiple tools to help me get through the day….
I use Evernote for ideas and things I want to remember when I am out and about. This is extremely helpful when I see something or need to do something far in the future.
I use Evernote for things I want to buy for the house and ideas for my future books.
Next one I use is Grocery IQ for shopping. I go to three different stores in order to feed my family of 8. Costco is always first, the Trader Joe’s and then for all the little things that we need to fill in the gaps Winco. So using the Grocery IQ is great for this because I can use 3 different lists and not have worry about losing them. Because let’s face it I totally would.
For planning my social media and my day with cleaning and keeping the kids alive
I am totally old school. I use pen and paper.
I will write down the list and I will cross off what I have already done.
There is this rush feeling deep inside when I cross something off my list.
I can’t get rid of that.
Whatever type of planning you do, just make sure you are consistent.
Every night take time before you go to bed and make a list of everything you need to do.
You may need to make one than one list of things to do:
Ok, so this list is everything in your fancy that you want to get done. Now there is no reason why they won’t get done. But it may take a few days to complete everything.
So go for it. Write everything that needs to be done in your life that you want to get done.
It is important to keep this list sperate from your daily to-do list.
Because really it is a way to much to see everything you need to do one list.
Your Daily TO DO List:
This list is different from your Master List. This is a list of the things that you will accomplish during the day. When you create your daily to-do list, check your Master List and see what you can accomplish that day.
One thing that you must put on your TO DO List is what you are going to have for dinner.
This makes it so much easier at dinner time to know what you are going to have for dinner instead of wasting time figuring what everyone wants for dinner.
HOW DO YOU WANT THE DAY TO LOOK:
One thing I have struggled with over the years just letting the day go without any real direction. But the thing is, are you do have control over your day.
The thing is to not put too much into your day that you feel like a failure. No one wants to go to bed feeling like they didn’t get anything done.
Do, every day, all that you can do in this one day.
For me, I had to learn that the real cause of failure was doing too many things in an unfruitful manner, and not doing enough of the things I really needed to get done in a fruitful manner.
So set your intentions of what you want your day to look like. How do you see the day going?
And stick to it.
Ok so really it is one thing to write a really perfect blog and live in this fantasy world, but we all know things will come up during the day.
You can sit down to do something that you need to do.
Taking a shower
Making something to sell Empty
Make a phone call
You hit the timer for 25 minutes and have this feeling of being so productive.
You are going to finally get stuff and you are going to move forward to goals.
A baby cries
A toddler needs a drink of water
A preschooler needs their bottom wiped
Someone falls down and gets hurt
There are two or siblings getting into a fight
Someone wants a snack
Your husband calls
You have to go to the bathroom
Really the list can go on and on….
And that is what you need to do
Make a list of eve thing that can and does come up during the day to get you off track.
Make a list of 30-50 or more things that can come up at any time during the day.
Once you have made this then go over the list and find the top 10 that you are going to happen during the day. Then come up with a plan of how to prevent it or how to come back right away to what you are doing.
One thing with 4-year-old twins at home a lot can pop up….
Going to the bathroom….
Wanting a snack.
All of this can happen in the 25 minutes that I set for myself to write.
So to combat this I have snack and sippy cups played for the boys.
Snacks that they can eat without help…
Bananas, grapes, goldfish. Along with a sippy cup full of water.
That way when they say they are hungry I can just point in the right direction of the food.
Now the going to the bathroom and falling down is a little bit more challenging.
But one way to combat it is to have something for them to do something quietly.
I love the quite bags. I will not go into detail about these because I feel this is already too long. So trust me and look them up on Pinterest because some other fab mom has done an awesome job with this.
When they are fed and they have something cool to do I can sit down for 25 minutes and knock some stuff out.
Now once we reach the 25-minute mark take a brack. Trust me you need it. Just for 5 minutes do something else. Go through the load of laundry in or go check out the babies, or go to the bathroom and then come back and do another 25 minutes on one task.
After your first two or three time blocks of 25 minutes, check back over your TODO list and keep checking it throughout the day.
It is one thing to make a list the night before and then not follow it the next day.
As much as I hate the word Time Management, I dislike not feeling like I didn’t get anything done during the day more.
I have learned that if I just do a little at a time and keep moving forward then I will get stuff during the day and one step at a time I will accomplish my goals…..
And you can too…
Remember You are the Daughter the Most High God.
P.S. If you want a little bit more help you can download some great pretty printables that may help you. Check them out here. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1352808614776628/?ref=bookmarks
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